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- Being
a house husband -
- a
father's story by
Richard Andrews
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- Richard's
account of being a house husband
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With
today's politically correct society it is not unusual to find a man
at home looking after the children while the woman is at work. One
such situation is my own. My wife and I decided that one of us would
stay at home with the children full time. Once this was decided on
it became a matter of reason that I would be the one to stay at
home. I had the lesser income, even though I was a Project Manager
for an Aluminium Joinery Company.
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When
our first child turned out to be a boy I was relieved. What better a
start to life could I give to my son, than to spend his first few
years right there with him. Well I left my full time job,
to become a House husband. What a different life it is.
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I
immediately thought that I could make contact with others that had
made the same choice that we had. That in its self was difficult to
do too. "Men are proud, what do we need a support group for,
tough it out. If a woman can do it surely a man can handle it
without a support group."
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Well
actually it's not the support that is the vital part of the group.
It's contact with other people in the same situation, that you can
bounce ideas off. I did find one other chap that was in an almost
identical situation as myself, then circumstances changed for him
and he had to return to work for financial reasons. Things changed
for us too, we moved out of the city to a rural area for a lifestyle
change as well as affordability. During this time I have
gained a lot of respect for solo parents.
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"But
men can do anything a woman can do", so I thought. Then again,
I am very happy to the one to shave his face daily instead of the
processes involved with giving birth. Getting up at night to feed
the youngster, changing him and getting him back to sleep, all at
1:00am in the morning can be done, no matter what sex you are.
Getting back to sleep yourself, though is another question.
But I have found that we can all adjust. I suppose it is like shift
work, you tend to sleep at strange times of the day and night. Going
to bed at 8:30 in the evening after having a nap around lunchtime,
just to cope with the broken sleep or total lack of sleep.
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I
started to ask myself, " is a man supposed to do this?"
Then I think again of those men who have no choice. Those that have
lost their partners to illness or a car accident. It's not too bad.
At least my partner comes home each night to give me a break for a
few minutes so I can have my seventh coffee before I have to
cook dinner and bring in the washing.
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I
couldn't have asked for it better though. I love being able to play
with my son until he falls asleep in my arms in the middle of the
day, taking him to preschool family session so as he can interact
with all the other children. Watching him learn to walk then
teaching him to kick a ball. Chasing him around the house on a rainy
day and being able to fix the things he breaks before mummy comes
home. Seeing the smile on my wifes face when he runs into her arms
as she comes in the door and say's mummy for the first time. I feel
I am the luckiest man alive.
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I
am still trying to contact other people in a similar situation
to myself. I might not call it a support group, but coffee group
will do for now. The age of the children doesn't matter, as the main
objective is just to have some male company with guys that are in a
similar situation and may understand the strange effects of being a
full time house husband. My partner has just given birth to our
second child, another boy, so the sleepless nights start again. I do
intend to return to the workforce in the future, when the boys
are at least five years old. My goal is to train in a career in the
IT industry. I have created a web site for my family to view
pictures as well as for my son's to know what it was like for me to
be a house husband.
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