- From Miscarriage
Support
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- About miscarriages
- One in four pregnancies miscarry. Because this is both the birth
and the death of a child, it can be a devastating experience,
usually more so for a woman than her partner. Unlike a stillborn
child, a burial is not required so there is no public recognition of
a death. Women often find that they are grieving the loss of their
baby but underestimate or do not recognized the impact it is having
on their lives. It is the strength of the bond with their baby, not
the pregnancy length, that determines the intensity of grief. This
can be compounded if others invalidate their loss and minimize what
they are feeling. We call it the ‘hidden grief’.
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- Delaying the next pregnancy is recommended. This loss needs to be
dealt with as in any other grief and a rule of thumb suggests a
healthy recovery would be about 6 months. Not that the baby is
forgotten, but the loss accepted. If that doesn’t happen we
recommend counselling. It is a difficult time for everyone and
patience is often tested for those who can only stand by. The
Miscarriage Support website has suggestions of what to say and
importantly what not to say.
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- Eighty percent of women go on to have successful pregnancies after
one miscarriage and in our experience even after having several,
their chances are still good. Through The Miscarriage Supports
Supportline, pamphlets and website, you can obtain information and
peer support from women who really understand from their own
experiences, by listening, providing information and often
supporting women during a following pregnancy, as this also can be a
difficult time. Sometimes, just receiving information and knowing
others have been there too, can be enough comfort.
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- Women are usually the most affected but family members will all be
impacted to some degree. Now that families are generally smaller and
mothers older, conceiving can also be a problem, so babies become
especially precious.
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- The Miscarriage Support group do not have access to a medical
professional, so will be unable to answer medical type
questions.
- For more information contact:
www.miscarriage.org.nz
or email
support@miscarriagesupport.org.nz
or phone 09 378 4060 Supportline
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