Whether you like it or not your child will at some stage choose a group of children to be her friends. Once she's at school you will have little input into whom she will be playing with during those hours - and yet these relationships can help build the way your daughter will see the world in the future.

Around the age of eight girls tend to form into groups and these can shift from day to day and week to week. Clubs may be formed and then dissolved before you have a chance to catch your breath and in the meantime you're wondering if you should be involved in any of the woes your daughter is going through.

As your child grows from a girl to a young woman these friends will become more important than you. She will trust what they say over what you say; therefore keeping open lines of communication between yourself and your child will be very important. Be there when she needs to tell you about the latest fight that they have had but don't butt in, unless you are sure they can't work it out for themselves. That is hard to do but most times they will work it out. One parent used to put down whatever she was doing and make herself a coffee just as her daughters were walking in the door after school. She was amazed at what her girls were prepared to talk about when they thought that their mother had time to listen.

It's often best for a parent to turn a blind eye. However there are times when as a parent you should step in, for example if your child starts to act differently around you, starts to not want to go to school or changes from a bubbly girl to a quite withdrawn person. Sudden changes in your daughter should ring warning bells and something should be done as soon as possible. If your child has a mobile phone, find out if she is being sent bullying txts by so-called friends. You must let your school know about such behaviour and if possible remove this threat by restricting the use of the phone or changing numbers. Contacting the  parents of the child who is bullying your daughter can help, some parents being unaware of what their child is doing. However, by far the most important thing to do is be there when your child needs you.

It's also important to make sure that you know your daughter's friends' parents. On the whole most girlfriends your daughter will make will be good for her and keep her happy. She will change a few each year but there will be a few close friends that she will have for many years if not a lifetime. With good communication between parents, joint rules that all parents agree on can ensure that your daughter will have good friends that you can trust as much as your daughter.